This excerpt comes (with permission) from GiggleMed.com‘s Book of Lists
Whether you’re a patient, a surgeon, or any hospital staff member working in the OR, there’s enough stress as it is. It can certainly become a lot scarier if you hear any of these “Things You Never Want to Hear During Surgery.”
- I’m kind of excited, the last time I performed one of these I was a resident.
- What the heck is that?!
- We have to hurry, my flight leaves at 3.
- Has anyone here used one of these before?
- Wait a minute! That’s not her gallbladder!
- Now which side did we say? Left or right?
- I’m starting to think that this whole thing is just a waste of time.
- In about 2 minutes, we might need to charge up those paddles.
- Is this lady a full code?
- It’s alright… Go ahead… He’s asleep.
- What a minute! Did I even scrub for this case?
- I had a bad feeling about this case, but that tarot card reader made me feel much better.
- We’re technically not supposed to smoke in here.
- I’m gonna need one of you guys to start whispering in her ear. Tell her to “Move away from the light“.
- Welp, I guess there’s a first time for everything.
- Hi, I’m Bill, one of the OR techs, are you the new surgeon?
- I don’t understand … This didn’t happen in the video.
- Would someone please swat those flies!
- Righty tighty, Lefty loosey.
- Why do I feel like this patient is surrounded by a bunch of assassins?
- Of course this is ethical!
- I see dead people.
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