23 Things You Never Want To Hear During Surgery

This excerpt comes (with permission) from GiggleMed.com‘s Book of Lists

Whether you’re a patient, a surgeon, or any hospital staff member working in the OR, there’s enough stress as it is. It can certainly become a lot scarier if you hear any of these “Things You Never Want to Hear During Surgery.”

  1. I’m kind of excited, the last time I performed one of these I was a resident.
  2. What the heck is that?!
  3. Ooops!
  4. We have to hurry, my flight leaves at 3.
  5. Has anyone here used one of these before?
  6. Wait a minute! That’s not her gallbladder!
  7. Now which side did we say? Left or right?
  8. I’m starting to think that this whole thing is just a waste of time.
  9. In about 2 minutes, we might need to charge up those paddles.
  10. Is this lady a full code?
  11. It’s alright… Go ahead… He’s asleep.
  12. What a minute! Did I even scrub for this case?
  13. I had a bad feeling about this case, but that tarot card reader made me feel much better.
  14. We’re technically not supposed to smoke in here.
  15. I’m gonna need one of you guys to start whispering in her ear. Tell her to “Move away from the light“.
  16. Welp, I guess there’s a first time for everything.
  17. Hi, I’m Bill, one of the OR techs, are you the new surgeon?
  18. I don’t understand … This didn’t happen in the video.
  19. Would someone please swat those flies!
  20. Righty tighty, Lefty loosey.
  21. Why do I feel like this patient is surrounded by a bunch of assassins?
  22. Of course this is ethical!
  23. I see dead people.

Copyright, GiggleMed.com, LLC. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

For other cool medical humor sites, check out the links section in the sidebar. If you want to view/download a pretty PDF version (although with only 21 items) go here.